My PhD journey - Adrienne Girling

20 August 2014

This is the story of my journey about completing a PhD. I recently submitted my thesis, four years (and a bit) after I started. The process often felt long and arduous, particularly the last year, but on completion I’ve had some time to reflect on the entire journey.

The best analogy that I can think of for a PhD is climbing a very big mountain. There are times when you really want to give up and not climb anymore. Or when you get to a particularly steep section that feels insurmountable and you just think it is never going to end, and you feel like lying down out of fatigue and frustration.

But then at other stages of the climb you reach a vista with such spectacular views that you know you wouldn’t appreciate as much if you hadn’t just persevered through the hard parts. Or you get to the top of an extraordinarily difficult section and once you’ve caught your breath you feel an incredible sense of pride and achievement for what you’ve accomplished.

Like climbing a large mountain, doing a PhD is not for the faint-hearted. There’s a reason not everyone has a PhD, and it is my firm belief this is not due to intelligence. Sure, you need to have a degree of intelligence to do a PhD, but completing a PhD is much more about perseverance, endurance, resilience and stamina. It takes all of these qualities to stick with one topic for 3 or more years, and to think about all of the possible ins and outs and permutations. And to maintain enough interest in the topic after all that time to tell a compelling and coherent story.

I am fortunate that my topic was dear to my heart, as I am a Canadian who studied Canadian national identity and how it relates to the complex cultural diversity comprising the nation. I am very passionate about my topic, but what I didn’t anticipate was the amount of introspection that would be involved regarding my own personal identity as a Canadian. Through my analysis I identified a number of blind spots that English Canadians (the majority group) hold about Canadian society and nationhood, which simultaneously made me confront and re-evaluate everything I thought I knew about my country and otherwise took for granted.

I feel that this process made me get in touch with my country and its history on a deeper and more authentic level. I also learned a lot more about myself, my working habits, and just how resilient I can be. I am very happy that I made it to the top of the mountain. I am glad I persevered. But just as I imagine I would feel after climbing Mt Everest or Mt Kilimanjaro, I will not be embarking on another such journey in this lifetime. It’s unlikely my mind and body could endure another similar voyage.

Having said that, there are many things I will miss about doing a PhD, such as choosing my own schedule, researching a topic I’m passionate about, and travelling the world to attend international conferences. The last year of the PhD was especially demanding—mentally, physically, emotionally—but I was also able to pamper myself by starting my workday at 11am (don’t ask what time it ended), writing in cosy cafes all over Wellington accompanied by good friends and laughter and hot chocolate. Lots of hot chocolate.

This has been a unique and unusual time of life that I will always cherish, but I have reached the summit and am embarking on the descent. I welcome this new phase of life with open arms. Maybe I’ll climb a real mountain next.